Lost in their Story

Thoughts go awry when feet find themselves out of step that once were synchronised, ordered and fulfilling. Quite often, it is the overstay in the company of others that cause us to examine the complexities of our identity, and purpose among the narratives belonging to others.

Shifting focus in this living room reflection will allow us to delve into how we find ourselves in the stories of others and how it can impact or even shape our sense of self.

The power of narratives is a concept that has been explored by scholars across the centuries. According to psychologist Jerome Bruner (1990), narratives are fundamental to human experience and play a crucial role in shaping our understanding of ourselves and the world around us. Similarly, narrative therapist Michael White (2007) emphasizes the significance of recognizing and challenging dominant narratives that can limit our potential and define our identities.

As I reflect on my own experiences, I recall a time when I found myself caught up in someone else’s story. I had lost sight of my own desires, values, and aspirations, and was instead living according to their expectations. This experience made me realize the importance of self-awareness and intentional living and discipline. The realization came when my language changed from the positive and encouraging person I am naturally to constant complaining and venting in spaces no one needed to even know. It took two colleagues at different points to be a mirror in conversation to help me recognize that I was quickly losing myself. I knew at that point how blessed I was to be loved and cared for by Jesus, the one who whispers when life gets loud.

As I reminisce, it is clear that when we give people ACCESS to boundary lines without limitations then easily we become part of someone else’s narrative, which can lead to questioning our own identity, desires, and purpose. As philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre (1946) notes, “Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is forced to choose.” This freedom to choose can be both empowering and overwhelming, especially when we’re trying to navigate our own identities amidst the stories of others.

So, how can we find our purpose and live intentionally with discipline amidst the narratives of others? From a spiritual perspective, authors like Eckhart Tolle (2004) emphasize the importance of living in the present moment and aligning our actions with our values. Practically, this can involve setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and engaging in self-reflection. See scriptural nuggets below for greater connectedness in this reflection.

As we strive to live with purpose, it’s essential to recognize that our stories are intertwined with those of others. However, this doesn’t mean we have to be the main character in their narratives. By prioritizing self-awareness, self-care, and boundaries with limitations, we can maintain our sense of identity and purpose while still being supportive and present for others.

As I conclude this reflection, I’d love to hear from you. How have you navigated the complexities of someone else’s narrative and identity in your own life? Share your thoughts and experiences with me on social media using the hashtag #ThrivingThursdaysWithTannie.

Here are some scriptures that resonate with the themes of identity, purpose, narratives:

Identity and Self-Discovery
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.” – Matthew 5:14 (NIV)
“I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” – Psalm 139:14 (NIV)
“You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession.” – 1 Peter 2:9 (NIV)

Purpose and Intentional Living
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” – Romans 12:2 (NIV)
“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.” – Ecclesiastes 9:10 (NIV)

Living Authentically and with Purpose
“Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” – Matthew 5:16 (NIV)
“Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God.” – Ephesians 6:10-11 (NIV)
“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:13 (NIV)

Reflection and Self-Awareness
“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” – Psalm 139:23 (NIV)
“Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves.” – 2 Corinthians 13:5 (NIV)
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” – Matthew 7:1 (NIV)

Key Takeaways:

• Recognize how others’ narratives influence your identity and purpose.
• Live with purpose and help others without losing yourself in their stories.
• Prioritize self-care, boundaries, and self-awareness.

References:

• Bruner, J. (1990). Acts of meaning. Harvard University Press.
• White, M. (2007). Maps of narrative practice. W.W. Norton & Company.
• Sartre, J-P. (1946). Existentialism is a humanism. Yale University Press.
• Tolle, E. (2004). The power of now. Namaste Publishing.

Keep Thriving, and let’s continue this conversation – Where Thursdays Meet Transformation.